How To Achieve Emotional Maturity
Emotional Maturity – Why Without It, You Will Harden, Be Untrustworthy and Become Your Own Worst Enemy
By Elle Wilson
I am once again taking on the hard truths that we as human beings often prefer to cover up.
However, I simply cannot deny that this one skill – that of emotional freedom – will make more difference in your life right now, than any other.
We’re all familiar with the scene in the supermarket aisle, where the toddler throws a full-on tantrum while the poor mother looks helplessly on. But have you ever stopped to consider that you might play the part of the toddler more often than you realise?
What is the toddler doing? Most simply put, the toddler is objecting to the way things are in his/her life.
How often do we do that?
We may internally object to the fact that we don’t have enough money coming in. We may object to the way clients can be utterly impossible to please. We may object to the way our partners and children just don’t get what it’s like to be us, and we may object to their regular failings to do what we ask.
We may object to the absurd behaviour of the driver who cuts us off. We may object to the fact that we can’t seem to get even half an hour to relax.
Maybe we don’t kick and scream, and throw ourselves about… or do we?
On the inside, don’t we all get frustrated? Don’t we mumble and mutter in our thoughts (or sometimes even out loud to our friends)? Don’t we make a point of letting the person we object to know they have not fulfilled our expectations? We may go about it in a more mature way with more mature behaviours, but our core emotions are often no more grown-up than the toddler throwing a tantrum.
What happens when the toddler throws a tantrum? Quite often, everything stops! Not just the toddler and the mother, but the shopping centre staff, all the other shoppers like us – everyone.
The same thing happens when we throw a tantrum on the inside. Everything stops. Our productivity. Our ability to respond professionally to our clients, our staff, our family and friends, even ourselves.
We may be so caught up in the emotions of frustration, annoyance, and petty grievances, that we cannot act effectively in any area of our lives.
Eating the Poisonous Pill and Hoping Someone Else Will Suffer
The toddler kicks and screams and ties themselves in knots. The same thing happens to us on the inside when we don’t respond to our emotions with maturity – we tie ourselves in knots.
If you stop and think about it, you’ll realise how true this is.
You get a tight feeling in your chest or belly. Your throat and jaw muscles tense up. You might grind your teeth or bunch the muscles in your hands (which is definitely not helpful when you’re trying to create the perfect brow!). You get all caught up in the moment and are unable to see beyond your own frustration. You cannot see a way out of the situation other than to burn off all that emotional energy through an inner tantrum.
So what is the alternative?
Clearly, we don’t want to be like the toddler. We don’t want to tie ourselves in knots and limit our productivity, potential, and joy. So what other option is there?
Discovering Emotional Freedom!
What is emotional freedom?
Emotional freedom is the ability to recognise and master how you manifest power in yourself and what you do with that power; how you use it and where you direct it. A lack of emotional freedom has you being controlled by that power, at the mercy of it, rather than in control of it.
Your emotions then master you, rather than you mastering your own emotional freedom.
Emotional freedom is the “black belt” of interpersonal relating.
How do we learn Emotional Freedom?
Fortunately, there are very clear and proven ways to help us do just this.
In developing the awareness and ability to see clearly, you will no longer be fooled or at the mercy of old family and childhood created patterns that hold you back and so often limit your life and business success.
Through clear seeing you step into a new space where you no longer experience the powerlessness of such strong emotional energy, but rather, you will begin to be in more, without falling apart. Your capacity will increase.
The world needs emotional intelligence.
We hear over and over that the upcoming generation are lazy, have no work ethic, no commitment. I believe what this generation is hungry for is what the old saying, ‘show me don’t tell me,’ so eloquently describes.
Our younger generation do not need telling, they need to see it in others. We need to be the leaders who do not teach but live our emotional freedom. There is nothing more confusing to our children, our staff and the world when we tell them to do one thing and we do something completely different.
Your staff, your family and your friends are looking for someone to stand up and show them a better way to navigate in the world; a better way to deal with difficult problems as they arise.
That little toddler in the aisle is looking to his/her mother to show her how to master the emotions that have completely overwhelmed her. The toddler is using her power and throwing it up against her mother to learn, to see how her mother handles this power. Our children are continuously reading us. This is your chance to make a difference, not only in your life, but in the lives of those around you.
Show them, don’t tell them!
By showing the upcoming generation how to live with true and responsible emotional freedom, we empower them.
By showing your staff how you stay centred in your day, rather than reacting from a volatile, emotional space, you will start a workplace revolution.
You will satisfy your clients in a much deeper way. You will increase your productivity and your referrals. You will bring a whole new level of joy to your day. And you will see your life expand and change in ways you could never even have dreamed of.
Viva la revolution!
Here is the glitch in all of this… how can you show others if you have never been shown?
The key is to find someone who knows the principles of emotional intelligence and emotional freedom and learn from them directly.
As President of Brow Artists International™, I am in the amazing position of being able to share with so many wonderful women. Years ago, I made the commitment to putting emotional intelligence into practice in both my personal and professional life. Now, I’m not perfect (yet!), but I would love to share with you the powerful insights I have learned.
Emotional freedom is encouraged and embraced in Brow Artists International™, and demonstrations of this are interwoven throughout our training and community.
Here are five questions to ask yourself this week:
- What is emotion, what is its relationship to power and how do I use it in my life?
- What are the differences between emotions and my true feelings?
- Where does the feeling of powerlessness come from and how can I change it?
- In those really tough moments, what can help me navigate effectively?
- Anxiety, depression, frustration… do they have a hidden meaning?
